It’s summertime, friends! One way I like to ring in the sweltering heat is to bring the entire friggin’ rainforest into my home.

So, I’d like to introduce you to our newest residents: this GIANT beast of a tree which takes up an entire corner of my living room (and still needs a new pot)…

…and this little friendly guy who you got a glimpse of when you saw the plate wall.

See how happy, healthy and thriving they look? So innocent, with so much hope for the future? You can just read it all over their bright green leaves: dreams for tomorrow, plans for a long and happy life. I think the smaller one wants to go to Harvard.

HOW MISTAKEN THEY ARE.

Check back with me in a month, when they’ll likely have succumbed to my MURDEROUS BLACK THUMB!

Cue “Psycho” music!

Poor guys. They don’t stand much of a chance. But in the meantime, I like how this guy just has those plates growing up around him like a happy little smoke monster about to smother the ever-loving life right out of him.

(He’s even leaning away from the plates, as if he KNOWS.)

And I like how the other one brings life and fullness to that back corner. I needed something tall there.

Quick decorating tip: When I’m arranging furniture or decorating a room, I always aim for a smooth line of furniture height as your eye travels from one side to the other. You don’t want a tall item, then a short item, then a tall item all in a row, because that’s jolting to your eyes. It’s easier on the eyes to have your decor go in a smooth line of heights as your eyes travel around the room, like so:

Not like this:

Which is also how you’d decorate if you were colorblind, had giant pine trees growing out of your orange carpet and a 12-foot-tall fuchsia lamp.

If you had such a situation in your home, you could fix that by hanging something over the sofa to add height, like some tasteful artwork, or perhaps an illustration of a giant majestic dragon:

See how the dragon made for a smoother line of heights, and also added an extreme measure of fire-breathing glory? That’s what we’re shooting for.

These photoshop illustrations brought to you by:

• The dangers of blogging late at night.
• Knowing just enough photoshop to be dangerous.
• The committee to elect fire-breathing dragons as the next major home decor trend.