I’m so sick of being comfortable.

Living in air conditioning and driving places in a car and building up treasure on earth and never pushing myself beyond comfortable. I’ve had enough.

I started reading a book called Radical: Taking back your faith from the American Dream and it’s going to completely screw up my life. My suburban, self-absorbed, tiny, comfortable life. At least, I hope it will.

Then yesterday, I went to a Bible study about pursuing your passion. That passion that lives deep in your gut and sometimes surfaces with a little twinge, a tickle, but usually gets buried deeper and deeper under layers of doubt and uncertainty and fear. The passion that gives you purpose, that is the reason why you were put here.

Problem is, I don’t know what my passion is, what my purpose is. Every year “finding my passion” tops my New Years resolution list, so I begin by… doing exactly nothing to find it.

But what I’m learning is that whatever that passion is? It’s also my purpose for living. It’s straight from God. And I can feel it all the way in my soul that I’m here for something. Something BIG, that impacts eternity.

I’ve blogged before about how I don’t understand God’s nonstop blessings in my life. It’s this rushing river that never ceases. I don’t deserve it. I didn’t earn it. I can never repay it. But it just keeps gushing. In the book, the author talks about why God blesses us.

It’s for His glory. He gives us what we have so we can make His name great. Of course! (This is so simple that I feel like an idiot that it was this giant revelation to me.) He has given me much, so he requires much of me.

But what do I give back? What do I return to lift him up, make him famous?

“When I wake up in heaven and look behind me, I want to know that I’ve brought someone with me.”

That’s what the speaker said yesterday, and it resonated, deeply. Every day I wake up and brush my teeth and run errands and check the mail, but I offer no return on what I’ve been given. Every day another wasted opportunity spent building my little kingdom on my little street in my little town and my little life.

Enough of this. Enough of me and mine. Enough of wasted time and tiny goals and doing what seems possible.

I want to be radical.

Want to join me? (I don’t recommend this book at all. It will completely suck your entire life into a big black hole and leave you wanting something bigger. Unless you’re ready for that?)