[DIY Hardwood Flooring Part 1 starts here…]

This is the part of the story where it sounds like I’m exaggerating – you’re going to be positive I’m exaggerating – but friends, there is no hyperbole here.

Installing hardwood floors using glue? It’s the Mount Everest of DIY projects. You get started, thinking, all I have to do is…

1. Prepare the floor.
2. Start gluing! Yippee!

Because glue is FUN.

Glue is OUR FRIEND.

In kindergarten, we all used to eat glue. Then in second grade, we spread it on our hands on purpose to peel it off in nice, satisfying sheets of clear, scaly goodness.
 
Breakfast of Champions!

But hardwood floor glue is not like that.  It has been mooching off Elmer’s reputation.

Listen to me very closely: you cannot trust it.

Do not expect good times and happy friendships with hardwood floor glue. Do not tell hardwood floor glue all your secrets. Do not leave it alone with your valuables. Do not get into a windowless van and allow hardwood floor glue to take you to a second location. WATCH YOUR BACK.

…and your hands, your arms, your hair and all your clothes. Because once hardwood floor glue looks at you wrong, it’s going to be stuck on you until the end of days.

Most people will assume you have leprosy. This is normal.

Is that clear?

Okay, back to the installation process. First, you have to prepare the floor, and that’s no small job. Here’s what we were working with:

1. Old blonde hardwoods in the foyer.

2. Grody, stinky old carpet in the rest of the downstairs.

Scrape that junk out. Pull up the carpets. Enjoy. This process is satisfying and delicious. (Especially if you are not the one who does the hardest, most physically demanding parts. I heart marriage.)

Once your old floors, old glue and carpet tacks are gone, you will realize that you have made large holes in the concrete from where the old carpet tackboards were. Repair the holes and any cracks with concrete patch. This is actually really easy. Took about an hour for our whole downstairs.

You also have to make sure your slab is level, and use leveling compound if it isn’t. Ours were, so we did a happy little jig and moved on to the next step: installation! Finally!

How am I at the end of this post and just now starting to talk installation? Is it cool if I continue onto another post? Please don’t let this post scare you away from installing hardwoods yourself. Hang with me. Now that you know about hardwood glue, you can protect yourself from its evil ways. Knowledge is power. You can do this.
Update: Check out hardwood floor installation post part 3 here.