Remember in the last post, when we all agreed to squint and pretend things are perfect when looking at projects on this blog? (Your silence was agreement.)

That turned out to be a perfectly-timed *legally binding, contractual* agreement. Because today is about a project that did not turn out cute. But you won’t know that, because you’ll be squinting.

Here’s my old grandma pitcher, that I picked up from a yard sale for 25 cents. (The lady also threw in a free jack-in-the-box for my son, so lets call it free.)

I started by spraying her with a couple of very thin coats of white spray paint, letting it dry between coats like a normal, patient person would do.

Then, when the paint still wasn’t completely covering the flowers, I got crazy and wild-eyed, and attacked it with thick coats of spray paint that, of course, got all drippy and weird. Then, because patience is not my strong suit completely non-existent for me, I tried to sand off the drips before it was completely dry.

Cue ominous, foreshadowy music.

This is where I should have known to stop. But I didn’t. Because that would be logical. I got it to a point where it was almost okay, then decided to try my hand at a little monogram. I pulled out some navy blue acrylic paint, and decided to tape off an “M.”

A normal, patient person, knowing that I own painter’s tape, would have… found the painter’s tape. *I* chose to grab the nearest painter’s tape-like-substance, which was electrical tape.

Cue  LOUDER, more OMINOUS and SCARY music.

I taped off my “M” with electrical tape. (Stupid, stupid, stupid.)

Painted it with the acrylic paint.

Then removed the electrical tape… and the spray paint underneath it…. and ended up with this:

I tried to paint over the bad spots with white paint, but it just multiplied the ugly. Well, it would be ugly, but you’re squinting, remember?

See? It’s perfect! FLAWLESS even.

I’m going to sand it all off and try something different. (UPDATE: See how I rescued it temporarily here.) But I didn’t want to leave you on a bad (scary, awful) note. So…

LOOK OVER HERE! Something different!

(This is me being all frantic and doing jazz hands to distract you.) LOOK! It’s a birdcage!
That I got!
From the flea market!
For $3!

I painted it! LA LA LA! Things are fun!

Look! FLOWERS in it! Yay! Everything is GREAT!