Today I pulled the kids’ clothes out of the dryer and shoved them unceremoniously into the laundry basket. 
It was a mundane task. It was a chore. But suddenly the sight of the full laundry basket sent my little heart spinning into orbit.
Little boy socks with a permanent mud-ring at the top of the shoe. Thomas the Train underpants. Blues and greens and soft dinosaur pajamas.
Tiny baby girl clothes. Sweet pink outfits in newborn sizes already too small for her. Ruffles and butterflies and pink-flowered footie pajamas.
Girl stuff. Boy stuff. Co-mingled there in a picture of all my blessings that rushed to my soul in a flash-flood of joy and thankfulness.
I’ve shared before that I thought I didn’t want kids, ever. My vanity said pregnancy would do too much damage to my figure. My selfishness said it was too much to give. My budget said there was no room. And I heard the lies of society loud and clear: children are tiny hurricanes of marital destruction, doom and the death of your dreams.
I saw the picture of the frazzled mom, crazed, isolated, hair in a tangled mess, showers a distant memory, mostly-chewed goldfish rubbed into the threads of her faded mom jeans.
I didn’t want a part of that.
I didn’t believe God when He said that children are a blessing. A reward.
But in His infinite grace and wholly unmerited favor…
…He showed me He knew better.
…He laughed at my ignorance and gave me the greatest blessings I will ever know.
…He showered on me an unspeakable joy that I thought I didn’t want.
…He showed me that His way is higher.
And in showing me what these childen are to me…
He showed me what I am to Him.
He taught me a depth of love that brought my selfishness to shame. He gave me perspective. The humbling opportunity to give Him this broken, shattered offering: a life of parenting these children to the best of my ability despite my constant fumbles, and He promises to bless even this unworthy sacrifice.
Sometimes, in the smallest tasks…
He reminds me.
Hi, I'm Kelly. Glad you're here! This little blog is where I chronicle our efforts to fix up our beaten-down home on a tiny budget. We're not there yet, but here's a peek at the view along the way...
Thanks for the encouragement. I’m in the homestretch for #2, and things happen with #1 that make me say “what the heck are we getting ourselves into… again…” I’ll be giving Abby an extra hug today and try to not get mad when #2’s rolling and kicking keeps me awake tonight. 🙂 Blessings on your day! P.S. I LOVE the foot picture. 🙂
I love this post, Kelly. God has His ways, doesn’t he? Embrace every moment, my friend. 🙂
xo Heidi
Kelly, what a beautiful post about your precious children, our wonderful Heavenly Father, and His reminders to you! What a good reminder it is to me too. With all the demands on a mommy that our 6 dear children bring, I can so identify!! You have a beautiful family! Blessings on your day!
Thanks for the reminder. I contacted you a while back in the hopes of meeting a fellow GA girl and believer at Haven. Then I sold my coveted ticket, b/c I wasn’t sure I could handle Haven and morning sickness. A few days after the conference I miscarried. I have two living healthy children (and lots of laundry…) to be thankful for, and I totally get smiling at a basket of kids’ laundry. To God be the glory! Thanks again and God bless you.
Ha! All I know about crumpled laundry is how to create it. 🙂
At first I thought you were going to give a tip about what to do with crumpled laundry, which was purrfect because I’ve got a heaping amount of it, haha. But this is so sweet. I’ve always been sort of confused about “wanting” kids, and this was really touching to read. You can feel your joy through this.
such a sweet post! love the feet picture…. i still don’t like laundry.
I needed to read this. You’re the best.
Ditto! I also wonder sometimes if I really want kids, for all the reasons you mentioned. Silly, selfish reasons. God is SO good.
Beautiful 🙂
This is beautiful. Thank you for the reminder – and the perspective. And thanks for turning it all back to Him!
Beautifully said, Kelly! Our blessings are found in the little things like the laundry basket, the socks under the coffee table, the library books stuffed in the back pockets of the car. You have such a grateful heart – I love it!
oh oh oh. were you thinking of me when you wrote this? it spoke to me. my heart is swelling.
I love this! I will have to remember this while doing laundry. My basket is already shrinking by two. So sad. The first few days when my two oldest moved out I was happy dancing about the loss of dirty laundry. Now I’m longing to have his stinky socks back. LOL….
And Ana White..she rocks! I want her hair Ha!
Great post. Our little girl is turning 4 next week and we are in talks about having another kid. I’m back and forth because of the very reasons you mentioned: figure, money, patience. I know things will happen in His time and He will provide everything we need. Thanks so much. You have an adorable family.
Love this. Love, love, love it.
What a beautiful post Kelly! Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Oh Kelly, you have no idea how close to home this hit for me. I was the EXACT same way. I had that exact same image of motherhood, and zero interest in ever ending up there. I thank God all the time for forgiving my ignorance and giving me the biggest blessing I will ever know. Hugs to you today.
Well said!
big tears. we can never stop being reminded to cherish them. hugs.
Thanks! What a great reminder, and so true that children are BLESSINGS!
Such a sweet post and, because I’m a wing nut, all I could think through the whole thing is “I wonder if she’s going to fold those clothes out in her back yard sanctuary?” 🙂
Nope, probably not gonna fold them in the back yard. Or anywhere. Probably just gonna leave them all crumpled until everyone runs out of clothes. #HomemakerOfTheYear
Awww, Kelly. What a sweet post. As someone who doesn’t have kids, this is still a good reminder that even when life doesn’t turn out the way we planned it, it is still pretty dang awesome 🙂
You said it!
I really appreciate your honest posts about kids … I was completely in awe of your birth story and now this. I am on the fence about having kids for various reasons and this perspective hit me at just the right time 🙂
I’m so glad He knew better for you. Those lies of society know not what they say.
Fast forward and picture now to when these times have come and gone, if you even can, and then you will understand why this type post touches the mother that I will always be.
~Bliss~
Thank you so much for this post… I so needed to hear this right now. I am 39 weeks pregnant, and used to be quite unsure about even wanting to be a mom. I am very excited to meet my little boy, but still very scared that I will never have MY life again. Maybe I won’t, though… I will have the life God wants me to have, and that is greater than ANYTHING I could ever imagine for myself.
Wow, HUGE congratulations and hugs to you! I remember *exactly* all those conflicting feelings right before Weston was born. I was especially sad because I felt like our time as a couple was coming to an end, and worried that everything that had been so great in our life was about to change.
But let me tell you – you are in for SO much joy. SO much joy and emotion and overwhelming thankfulness in the weeks ahead. I remember just holding my son and sobbing huge, HUGE tears of thankfulness. And even being a little scared because you realize that now you have so much to lose. It’s like they say – becoming a mom is agreeing to let your heart walk around outside your body. It’s terrifying, but it’s absolutely unspeakably incredible.
Well, thanks for the contact lenses cleansing tears! Such a beautiful post ….
🙂
Linda
What a beautiful post. Very honest. It’s what I needed to read today.
Awwww…..I LOVE this post 🙂 I love everything about it….but my favorite are those feet all lined up 🙂
blessings,
karianne
What a great post! I have moments when my two three year olds are like hurricanes rampaging through my world, and moments when the sight of them in the morning, with bedhead and droopy jammies, could bring me to grateful tears. Thanks for sharing your moment. I wish you many more.
i love the feet picture, it’s the cutest! such a wonderful post, gives me so much to think about and look forward to:)
Hey girl! Such sweet pictures in this post! Yes we did take a pic and you totally asked me to send it to you but I am s.l.o.w. So glad to have met you as well.
xo
Cat
This actually brought tears to my eyes! I have felt the same way as you about having kids for YEARS now and yet, despite all my fears and reservations, we are currently trying for our first. I’m scared of all of it and I’m not 100% absolutely positive it’s right for me but I do know that I love my partner completely and I know I want to make a family with him and bring another being into our lives. So we are trying.
Reading this just reminds me that whatever my fears, it’ll be a great thing and life can even be sweeter than it is now. :*) xxx
What a sweet story! And I love the picture with the feet! Too cute!
Kelly! This is the sweetest and truest post ever. This is what home is about. I love it! I can’t wait for the days I get to wash little boy Underoos though…they’re currently sitting in a drawer waiting for my 2yo to be the slightest bit interested in wearing them anywhere other than his head. Le sigh. So glad to have met you at Haven.
Love this so much!! Amen to everything you said.
Wonderful. Ditto all that. 🙂
Starting to tear up form this, when clearly I should be drinking by the pool, but I’m mommying and sitting in the hotel room during a baby nap:)
I love the picture with all of your feet, it’s so sweet, not as sweet as your words, but pretty darn cute.
Beautiful post Kelly! You couldn’t have said it better! I love all the pictures you captured of your you and your family…so sweet!
Beautiful post. Isn’t it amazing that even when we don’t even know to ask for something that He gives it to us because He loves us and knows us better than we know ourselves? Thanks for this wonderful reminder!
Truly beautiful, thank you for sharing.
What a beautiful post! Love the pictures, especially the newborn one. 🙂
I love this post Kelly! Even when I have my marathon mom days, I am quick to remember that those days are a blessing too! I kept telling Bo yesterday, this happened and this happened, but I am so blessed.